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“I’ll do anything except fundraising.”
If you’ve worked with a nonprofit board for very long, you’ve probably heard some version of that. It makes sense. Look at what board members have been taught fundraising is supposed to look like.
Give or get. Remember to make your annual gift. Will you sponsor a table? Here’s a list of names. Do you know anyone? How much do you think they could give? Will you introduce me?
This is normal fundraising. And normal is awkward and uncomfortable.
We’ve gotten so used to it that we don’t always see how strange it is. We start with what the organization needs. We need to raise this much money. We need everyone on the board to give. We need introductions. We need sponsors. We need people to fill tables. Then we look around and ask, “Who can help us?”
What if we started somewhere completely different?
We aren’t looking for donors. We aren’t even looking for money. We’re looking for people who have a reason to care.
People who want to see the same change in the world that we do. People who would be glad to know this work exists. People who enjoy being generous and want their money to accomplish something meaningful.
Instead of asking your board member, “Who do you know who could give?” ask, “Who do you know who would love this?”
That feels very different.
We do this naturally in the rest of our lives. We find a great restaurant and tell our friends about it. We buy a pair of shoes we love and immediately think of someone else who would love them too. We recommend books, doctors, vacation spots and products all the time. We’re not trying to get people to do something they don’t want to do. We’re trying to help them find something we think they’ll enjoy.
Why should sharing a cause we love feel so much harder?
One reason is trust.
A board member may know exactly who would care about your work and still hesitate to make an introduction. They may be wondering what will happen to their friend once they do. Will they get pitched? Will they have to sit through a presentation? Will they suddenly be on a mailing list? Will someone keep following up even if they’re not interested?
When a board member introduces you to someone close to them, they’re not just giving you a name. They’re trusting you with someone they care about.
They need to know you’ll be curious. That you’ll listen. That you’ll have their friend’s best interest in mind. That if there isn’t alignment, or it isn’t the right time, you’ll make it easy for them to say no.
One of my favorite things to say is, “I want to be your easiest no.” I want people to know there is no pressure here.
Of course, I hope they see what I see. Hope. Possibility. A solution. A mission worth participating in and investing in. But I want them to feel inspired, not required. Removing pressure does not remove responsibility. Board members may contribute in different ways, but the work of creating the conditions for generosity is shared.
If we want board members to offer that kind of experience to people they know, we have to start by giving it to them.
So before year-end giving season gets underway, try this.
Take out a piece of paper for every board member and write their name at the top. Without looking at your database or board records, write down what you know about them.
Do you know why they chose to serve on your board? Do you know what was happening in their life when they joined? What do you know about their family, their work and what a normal day looks like for them? What other causes do they care about, and why?
What do you know about their generosity? How do they typically make giving decisions? Is a spouse involved? An adult child? Someone at a family foundation? Do they use a donor advised fund? Have you ever talked with them about non cash gifts? Do they tend to give a little to many organizations or make larger gifts to a few? Is your organization one of the causes closest to their heart?
Then ask yourself a pretty simple question:
How well do I actually know this person?
Whatever your answer, there’s more to learn.
Reach out and ask for a visit. Tell them you’re not going to ask for anything. You simply want to know them better.
Ask why they joined the board. Has it been the experience they hoped it would be? What do they enjoy? What frustrates them? How would they like to contribute beyond attending meetings? What would make the experience better?
And over time, learn the answer to a much bigger question than “How much could they give?”
What would they like to accomplish with their money that would be meaningful to them?
I’d also ask this:
“If this were your dream board experience, what would it look like?”
Afterward, write down what you learned. Then send them a handwritten note and tell them something specific you appreciated about the conversation.
Your board members are giving you their time, their attention, their experience, their relationships and their care. Treat them like cherished members of your nonprofit family. Stay in touch when you don’t need something. Let them know the good, the bad and the ugly. Let them feel seen and known.
If we want board members to trust the organization with people they care about, their own experience matters. When they feel seen, known and respected, they have more reason to trust that the people they introduce will be treated that way too.
Generosity inspires generosity.
Maybe the place to start isn’t asking your board to fundraise. Maybe it’s helping them experience generosity differently first.
That’s where the Generosity Board Experience begins. If you’d like to explore what that could look like for your board or the organizations you support, I’d love to talk.
